just checking in

I went to the mall to weigh myself today, and there was this man trying out all the scales. I kicked my shoes off and stood on the one I always use and he said, "you are small ... maybe 80 pounds?"
What a nice guy! Too bad I'm 30 pounds more than he thought. In fact, I am 32.2 pounds more than 80! I am 112.2 fucking pounds, disgusting. But I got this. I just walked for 140 minutes, burnt 398 calories. I ate some candy (the 5-cent kind from corner stores) though, fuck fuck fuck. Have I no self control whatsoever? At least it was fat-free, but I did NOT need all the calories, carbs, and sugar! If I don't feel ravenous by dinner, I'm going to have to find a way to dispose of the food without anyone looking because I really need to be under 112 tomorrow.

On the plus side, I bought a sunless tanning lotion today so soon my legs won't be so gross and pale. I dream of the day when my legs are long and thin and tan and I can confidently wear my size 00 white short shorts. They fit now, but they're pretty snug ... I'm going to wait to be at least 109lbs before I wear them.

As soon as I finish typing this I'm going to clean my room, which I'm sure will burn at least 50-100 calories because I'll probably have to vacuum, and I'll be running things up and down the stairs. After that I'm braving the heat to go for a 35 minute roller blade in an attempt for not going yesterday ... then some pilates & calisthenics ... running again once it gets a bit cooler outside. I'll check in later, even though no one's reading this. :/

PS. I woke up hungry this morning, love it. Except for standing up and getting that sick feeling, seeing black dots for a few seconds. I must have been dehydrated!